


Monopoly Ruined My Life

by Nathaniel_isSimpingAgain



Series: a collection of short AOT stories [6]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Teachers, Board Games, Drinking & Talking, Levi Ackerman is So Done, M/M, Multi, Nonbinary Hange Zoë
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-24 08:00:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30069147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nathaniel_isSimpingAgain/pseuds/Nathaniel_isSimpingAgain
Summary: Levi refused Hange’s offer of monopoly night every damn week, but puppy eyes from his deer husband for the 12th week in a row was enough to make him crack. Bribes may have been accepted.
Relationships: Levi Ackerman & Hange Zoë, Levi Ackerman/Erwin Smith, Moblit Berner/Hange Zoë
Series: a collection of short AOT stories [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2102553
Comments: 3
Kudos: 18





	Monopoly Ruined My Life

**Author's Note:**

> why did this take me two months, please tell me why
> 
> anyways this is partially inspired by when I could have sleepovers with my friends and we would play monopoly and watch porn together at three am before going outside and getting our socks wet without being arrested or fined, sigh, those were the days

Levi’s body  _ ached _ , and not in the way he enjoyed like after a good workout or a mind numbingly good plough from his husband. No, this was all because Eren Yeager decided to go badshit crazy on  _ Reiner fucking Braun  _ of all people _. _ His reason you ask? Reiner had apparently told one too many gay ‘jokes’ after he had came out, and-

“The guy was just asking for it!” Eren shouted as Armin Arlert, bless his soul, held him back from Reiner who was positively  _ seething _ . “Oi! Did I ask for a reason?” Levi barked, shutting the whiny brat up, and making Reiner smirk. “Who said you had the right to look so smug, Braun? You’re forgetting that Eren isn’t the only ‘fag’ in this room. Just because you can't come to terms with the fact that you’re lusting over Hoover  _ does not _ mean that you have the right to throw around such disgusting language.” Now with both of the idiots’ egos damaged, he turned to Floch, who yelped as Levi’s ever fury stained eyes fell on him. “And you!” He snapped, “how many times do we need to have the instigator talk? How many times have i told you to just keep your insufferably loose mouth  _ shut _ .”

This was a regular occurrence on Friday mornings, the playfulness of half the class from Hange’s lesson, and the exhaustion from the other half from Neil’s weekly lecture on missing homework clashed so hard that Levi was always left with a fight. He was the god-damn art teacher, not some boxing referee. 

“Arlert, be a doll and take Eren to the infirmary, and bring an ice pack back will you?” he asked with a sigh, running his hands down his face to distract himself from his throbbing knee and stinging cheek. “Thank you sir-”

“Who said it was for you, I'm pretty sure Eren punched you in the side and the last time I checked his hardest hits are like a fly landing on your arm, you punched me in the face when reeling your fist back,” he spat at the shocked looking jock. “Out, Reiner, you go to the headteacher’s office. I want a written apology from all three of you by last period today, as well as your three week overdue coursework.”

He watched Reiner leave, and he shot Armin a small apologetic smile as he followed after Eren. “Anyway...Banksy…”

It was always the longest hour of the day, even if he had Gabi and Falco to deal with mid day and then the same, more subdued older class last lesson, so Erwin or Hange always called in for a visit if they were free. 

“Levi,” he heard the gruff voice of his husband call from the door, a soft smile on his face as he looked over the quietly chatting classroom. “I'm guessing that Reiner Braun sitting outside my office is your doing?” he asked as he made his way to Levi’s desk and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek while no one had noticed he was there. “What do you think, he and the brat were fighting, though I agree with Eren, Reiner was asking for it...speaking of Eren, go see him in the infirmary when you’re done here, he needs speaking to again.”

“Again?” Erwin grumbled, sitting down on his desk. Levi sighed, “again.”

They both looked towards the door as Armin made his way back into the room, smiling nervously at the presents of Erwin, face flushed red as he passed the ice pack over to Levi. “Either he still has that massive crush on you or Eren finally confessed his love,” Erwin mumbled under his breath once Armin was sat down, receiving a hard slap on the back of his head. “That was three years ago I'm sure he grew out of it.”

“Sir that's Domestic abuse!” Connie shouted across the classroom, Sasha losing her mind from beside him, and Levi could only huff a laugh as Erwin nodded in agreement. “He married me, he knew what he was getting into,” he answered in defence, turning to give Erwin a look. “In other news...Hange invited us to Monopoly night again,” he told him ever so gently, knowing the topic was a touchy one. Levi never responded well to the invitations, always blew up or stayed deathly silent. The man could control his breathing so well that it didn't even make a noise. Erwin braced himself for either of those responses. He got silence. 

“Levi come on, It’ll be fun!” Erwin wrapped an arm around his husband and shook him gently, smiling when he was swatted away. Levi rolled his eyes, and decided to go and check what everyone was drawing. Erwin took the hint and left with a chuckle. Of course, Jean was drawing Mikasa (nothing new there), Sasha was doing another food themed piece and Hitch was indulging in her phone more than her half arsed sketch of Marlo. Then he came to Armin, who sat in the corner alone, and smiled to himself as he spotted what must have been the tenth portrait of himself, this time he was rolling his eyes and Erwin was there too. “Well done Arlert, I’ll put this one on the wall?” he asked gently. Armin was a jumpy boy, anxious and small. He looked up and gave a wavering smile. “No credit?” he asked hopefully. Levi nodded. “No Credit.”

It wasn’t long before the bell rang and all the snot-nosed brats finally left his room, leaving him to walk along to the nurses’ office to see Eren and then to Erwin’s office where he walked in on Erwin giving a firm speech about homophobic language and how it was Reiner’s third offence now. The boy quickly apologised at the mention of pulling him off the football team, but Erwin still didn’t look satisfied. “I'm not the one you need to apologise to, I’ll make sure Petra gets you to apologise to Eren at detention.”

The blonde sulked out of the office, and Levi sat himself down on the side of the desk Erwin sat at. “Yes Mr. Ackerman-Smith,” he asked with false annoyance, Levi’s lip quirked up. “I’ve thought about it...and if it makes you happy, we can go to Monopoly night...just this once,” he told him slowly, watching the man’s eyes light up. He grinned and nodded slowly. “I suppose this comes at a price?” he asked quietly, and Levi hummed as he nodded. “You know me too well- I want to get that expensive wine that you got me for my birthday last year, but I don't know where you got it from. If I'm going to monopoly night I'm getting wine drunk.”

And that is how Levi ended up covering for Erwin’s cover of Gunter’s literature class. He chose to ignore the way that Eren and Armin were slipping notes, and how Hitch was literally giving Marlo a hand job under the table, and decided to put on the movie adaptation of Macbeth. In a way he deserved this, it was the price to pay for Erwin leaving school to buy him wine. 

“Alright, your teacher left a note saying you have homework for next Tuesday, it's to write about the influence of the witches throughout the play, and to debate whether or not Lady Macbeth is one of the witches...three sides at least? Damn,” he muttered, everyone groaning. He nodded in agreement as Connie complained. These kids would not survive Gunter’s lessons this year. 

The last lesson of the day was with the same class of kids, Arlert and Eren now walked into the room holding hands, and Levi chuckled to himself when he thought about Erwin’s past remark. The man was always spot on. By the time the lesson ended Levi had three rushed apology letters, sloppy coursework and couldn’t be bothered to give them the homework he had been planning to give, the prospect of his kids working on that stupid essay for English may have also swayed his decision. He wasn’t a completely heartless bastard. 

It was just half past three when Armin Arlert set his painting down on the drying rack and left the room after staying back to finish his piece. Even on a Friday the boy was committed to his promise to work hard no matter the subject. Levi found himself sitting at his desk for longer than he needed to. He had answered all his emails, cleaned up where he knew the cleaners wouldn’t clean and re-organised his cupboard for the third time that day. He was stalling. Maybe he could say that he felt ill or that he was coming down with one of his migraines again, but Erwin would see right through him and threaten to pour the wine down the sink. It didn’t matter that the wine was expensive, he had done it before. The memory of Connie stating ‘Sir that's domestic abuse’ popped into his head. He couldn't help but let out a huff of air in amusement. The boy had such a way with words. 

With nothing left to do and no excuses to get out of going to Hange’s monopoly night, Levi made his way to the staff room to grab his coat and husband, hopefully avoid Hange and down at least half the bottle of expensive wine before making their way to their co-worker’s house. Of course, the universe is never as kind as Levi wishes it was. 

“Levi!” Hange called out from the sofa in the staff room, “Why don't you head back with me and Moblit since your ride still isn’t back!” it was more of a statement than an offer, and Levi could only sigh, call them shitty glasses and be dragged out into the carpark against his will. 

“H-Hange I don’t think you should pull him like that!” Moblit called out as Hange practically pulled Levi behind them like a child would a doll. His advice fell on deaf ears, and Levi was forced to sit in the back of the couple’s car and text his husband to just go straight to Hange’s. 

This was going to be hell.

Upon arrival he was drowned in cats, and when he finally sat down he was once again drowned in cats. Hange practically squealed at the sight, pulling out their phone to take 2o too many photos of Levi sat there on their couch, five cats somehow squashed onto his lap and then one along his shoulders. “Shitty glasses, if you share that with anyone I’m going to sneak into your lab and steal your fish tank,” he hissed, Moblit looking on tiredly as they shouted ‘NOT SAWNEY AND BEAN’ at the top of their lungs. 

Erwin arrived ten minutes later with expensive wine, exclusively for Levi, and a grin on his face as he spotted Levi run a hand along one cat in particular, a soft smile on his face as Hange and Moblit rummaged through their cupboards to find the monopoly board. “Not a word,” he barked at the man, pulling two of the cats closer while Hange rushed around, “and even if you did, they would never believe you.” the grin that Levi gave practically split his face in half, and Erwin pouted as he went about finding wine glasses. 

It was ten minutes after that Levi finished his first glass of wine and the game started, immediately dominating the board with help from his unnatural luck. Hange hung off of Levi’s arm, pouting as they complained about cheating and what not while Moblit got his first property and Erwin lost a dice to one of the cats that had strayed from Levi’s lap. It only took another twenty minutes for Levi to go through all the wine and then some, grabbing the actual bottle and just drinking from that after Hange claimed the money in the middle of the board for the third time in a row.

“No I don't believe that, how can you get free parking three…” Levi paused to scrunch his eyebrows together in confusion, at a loss for words, “three rotations of the board in a row!” As he drank the wine his volume slowly creeped up, where he eventually levelled out at a good 110 decibels and nearly burst Erwin’s eardrum each time he turned to tell him he needed to, as the banker, give him his ‘god damn 200 pass and go or I will literally eat your dick.’ Each time this happened, equally wine drunk Moblit would lean over the board and count the amount of spaces Levi had moved, and claim he had moved one more forward than he was supposed to in an attempt for someone to land on his property. This only worked twice before Levi nearly broke the board trying to throttle him. 

Even if he was completely drunk, and totally out of it, Levi managed to make Hange go bankrupt and end the game. “Another!” they both cried, Moblit leaned up against a flushed Erwin who had had a good amount of wine himself by then. “I think I'm done for the night,” Moblit managed to mutter, words slurred together as Levi and Hange held a slightly hostile staring contest that ended with Levi falling backwards dramatically and Hange cheering loudly. Erwin hadn’t seen Levi like this since their wedding night and honeymoon, and would have been completely hard if it wasn't for his whiskey dick. 

“Levi, have I ever told you how  _ small _ and I mean  _ miniscule  _ you are?” Hange asked, closing their eyes tightly to try and regain their centre of gravity. “Yeah?” Levi asked quietly, still laying back on the floor from when he lost the staring contest thanks to Hange’s stupid glasses. “Yup! I'm surprised you haven't been mistaken for a kid,” they mumbled, giggling quietly as they flopped down on top of him. Levi let out a quiet ‘oomphf’ as they landed right on his stomach, grimacing slightly as he burped. “I have...Pixis tried to give me detention for being in the halls in the middle of class...Kicked him in the shins.” The group laughed, and slowly made their way onto the sofa, game of monopoly forgotten as Hange went on a rant about isotopes- everyone but Moblit was lost the moment they opened their mouth, but they listened anyways. 

Maybe Levi enjoyed monopoly night, and maybe, even after Hange showed his students embarrassing photos of him covered in cats, he continued to go to monopoly night each Friday. 


End file.
